Iris
by HawthorneKitty
Summary: Draco x Hermione A songfic to the Googoo Dolls Iris, basically about Draco and Hermione before the war and how they deal with being thrown into the midst of things while their still so young.


Disclaimer I own nothing.

**And I'd give up forever to touch you  
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow**

It had become routine. At first he had felt no remorse, seeing as he was only fufilling his needs as a man. Why should he care if she thought it was anything more than it was? But as their 7th year progressed, their meetings became more frequent and their wild bouts of lovemaking had turned to silent fucks. He hadn't taken notice until he had seen her eyes dampen about a month ago. As he moved against her rhythmically, he could see them forming as her delicate head turned away to the side, her eyes gazing out the window. He hadn't thought much of it at the time, but as time progressed, she seemed more and more detached. Every now and then she would cling to him during their sex, her nails driving into his back as she moved against him like a wild animal. The male side of him saw no problem with this, but in his head he found it to be an almost desperate act.

**You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be  
And I don't want to go home right now**

"Jesus Christ Hermione, slow down!" he had whispered harshly one night as she pushed him on his back and moved her hips against him forcefully, not a single sound escaping her lips. It was dark and her long, brown hair was covering her face. He wasn't sure what had willed him to reach up and brush the wavy locks away from her face, but as he sat up on one elbow and tucked some hair behind her ear, he saw her tear streaked face staring hard at his torso, refusing to meet his gaze. His hand had fallen and now he remained on both of his elbows, watching her as she moved, fresh tears falling down her cheeks. That night he didn't finish off, instead he had pulled away from her and told her to go back to her room.

**And all I can taste is this moment  
And all I can breathe is your life**

She hadn't come back for about a week after that. When he would pass her in the corridors she would instantly stop chatting to her friends and drop her gaze to the ground, scurrying past him as fast as she could. He just watched her, feeling indifferent yet slightly confused. When she did return, she said nothing, walking into his room silently around 11 o'clock. Her prefect duties let her "patrol" the hallways at night. If only Dumbledore could have seen what his golden girl was doing now. She entered his room and remained completely silent, her eyes emotionless as he felt her watching him. He hadn't expected her. Standing up from his desk, he moved to face her, his hands on his hips.

"May I help you Granger?" A smirk played across his lips, only to be erased by the look on her face. With the threat of war thick in the air and the impending thought she might lose those she loved most, he saw why she might be unnerved, but the way she was acting was impossible to decipher. He watched her hands move shakily to remove her robe.

**'Cause sooner or later it's over  
I just don't want to miss you tonight**

His mind nagged that something was wrong with her, she didn't need sex right now, but if she didn't need it then he didn't understand why she was there. Removing his belt, he moved forward to brush his lips against her cheek, a sign of affection that he had never shown her before. Immediately she froze and looked up at him, searching his eyes for some sign that he meant it. He knew she found nothing. He grabbed her by her upper arms and steered her lightly to the bed. Once there, he layed her back on the bed and took a good long look at her. She was looking at him like she wanted something.

"What do you want?" he asked, his voice a bit softer then his normal harsh tone.

"Make love to me." she said her voice barely above a whisper.

"I can't." he lied.

**And I don't want the world to see me  
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am**

"Why not?" Her voice was louder this time and he saw the stubborn old Granger shining through. He half expected her to cross her arms and pout. Instead she remained motionless, a quite desperation in her presence.

"I don't love you." he snapped, becoming impatient as he turned his head to look out of his window.

"Just for one night?" she asked. He turned to look at her again, unsure he heard her correctly.

**And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming  
Or the moment of truth in your lies**

He moved to remove his shirt, his eyes never leaving hers as he undressed. He knew she wouldn't come back after tonight. They both knew it. They were both about to be thrown to opposite sides of possibly one of the largest wars in history and suddenly he understood all too well what she had wanted all along. Just one night of feeling that everything would be okay. If you could sleep in the same bed with a poisonous snake, then why be afraid of a snake bite? He found himself removing his pants as he watched her slowly unbutton her blouse. Once they were both bare, he moved to her, feeling like he was moving through water. He reached the bed and positioned himself above her, wanting to look in her eye with every stroke. This was their final curtain call and he felt almost like he was reading the end of a novel. He couldn't tell if he was relieved or dissappointed.

**When everything feels like the movies  
Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive**

He saw every emotion in her face flash by as he moved with her, their bodies moving like clockwork. He realized they weren't even doing it for the sex. He suspected she never had. Her hands found their way to his face and she began tracing his features, her eyes looking sad as she traced across his lips, probably for the last time. He found himself climaxing, yet continueing to thrust anyway. She didn't seem to mind. He felt a hunger to be in her, to feel her around him. It was all so foreign to him, but it at the same time it felt like he had just brushed dust off of something that had been there all along. Slowly his thrusting slowed and soon they weren't even moving. They were both flushed and covered in sweat. He thought she looked beautiful. It was the only thing, looking back, he wished he'd told her.

** And I don't want the world to see me  
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am**

She left shortly after that, and he found himself laying awake thinking not really of her, but of everything. Of the war, of what they had done, of what he was going to do. His head spun as he stared at his ceiling. He could smell her perfume on his sheets and it made his stomach tighten. He knew it was just his body's natural attachment to an intimate partner. He knew it went no deeper than that. Turning over to his side he closed his eyes and fell into a light sleep. He kept awakening dazed, thinking that someone was in his bed with him, but everytime he checked he was alone. Each time he would turn back over and go to sleep, mostly annoyed with himself but slightly dissappointed.

**I just want you to know who I am  
I just want you to know who I am  
I just want you to know who I am**


End file.
